I think it's been shown that there is gender bias in the industry - for instance women are much more likely to be diagnosed as borderline PD than men. I think it's extremely likely that there is a tendency to regard men as violent (or potentially so) than women. I'm sorry your experiences have been so negative. My appraisal of humanity in general is that callous-ness and willful ignorance are the rule rather than the exception. One would hope that this would be different in various population groups but this this is not my experience. Finding professionals that are better than the norm is an expensive and trying process that most people do not have the resources for.