It sounds as if loneliness is something that you are dealing with and would like some help with, if that were possible? Is that correct? Is there anything else that you can think of that might help?

I was with my last T for 6 years, got attached in some ways but was never really close to her, never very vulnerable. I went into that therapy with a basic lack of understanding about relationships -- how they functioned, what they were, even. That was a divide we never bridged. The "relationship" that we had in the therapy ended in a rupture without repair. If she couldn't reach me and my ways of reaching out didn't reach her either, then. . .it just didn't work, even after 6 years. It wasn't a total waste -- I worked through some trauma stuff. But did she understand me? No, I don't think so. Can one have a "relationship" anyway? Well, we did have the business relationship, but it seems to me not a whole lot more.