Sooooo I had a session with the T today. I think I'm going to start calling her the TT = Tenacious Therapist. I just sent her an email thanking her for being tenacious with me and that I didn't quiet understand why that was working with me right now, but it seems to be what I need.
Since avoidance has pretty much been a lifestyle of mine since I was very young without knowing what it was. It became a comfortable place. Now in talking with TT it seems almost everything I do is an avoiding behavior. I didn't realize that. Also that I wear my avoidance as armor, for self protection, and eventually it gets heavy and wears me down. She's right, and I know that. So the goal is to figure out how to survive in the world by slowly taking the armor off and eventually experience life without the armor. Pretty d__n scary thought for me and it would be for most people. But what she was saying made sense.
Anyone else wear their avoidance around?