Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
A couple of things came to mind. First, it's possible that you are at a point where you are trying to figure out how to mourn and process what happened. When a trauma takes place, especially from what you have described, the brain/mind can linger in a "freeze" for an extended period before an individual can slowly think about what this traumatic loss meant to them, and grieve all the complex personal parts of what was lost. This is what can contribute to the nightmares, and that is because our brains try to process whatever we experience each day during the night.
The thing about this processing is how each person taps on whatever they have on file in an effort to figure out what to do with a trauma. Sometimes, there simply is not enough present in an individual to achieve that and sometimes whatever is there "adds" to the trauma in confusing ways where one can get very upset in their sleep and from what you are describing, your body is reacting during these nightmares as well with sweating and sometimes even wetting the bed.
I am wondering if you experience these night terrors when you visit your parent's graves? Maybe you are doing that too often and it may help to step away from doing that for a while. My post to you in your other thread was an effort to help you to create an inner voice that is telling you it's really ok to go forward and that is really what both your parents want for you, and this would be from their spirit that is not part of the trauma or even at their graves.
You also may be struggling with this:
Complicated Grief - Prolonged Grief Disorder
I have PTSD, yet one of my therapists asked me to read about complicated grief to see if I could identify with the symptoms.
You suffered a great loss and you were still very young, and too young to have the ability to know what to do with this traumatic loss.
It sounds like you are trying to figure that out even now.  It's very challenging to figure out what to do with all these confusing feelings that are presenting from slowly trying to move forward after this traumatic loss. |
Thank you. You have given me something to think about.
One other thing to add. After the accident, I was in shock. So badly that after the funeral I collapsed. I was in a sort of coma for 2 months. Cat scans showed I had stressed/damaged part of my brain. During this time I was told I died and had to be resuscitated. But that wasn't the only time this has happened. Since the accident, it has happened five times. I have died and been resuscitated three different times. I don't think these nightmares will ever go away. I think I may have to live with this for the remainder of my life.
The last time this happened was 10 days ago. Most of the time I do not remember the triggers. This time I do. I received very bad news. I started to shake and went into some sort of fit and collapsed. This was the third time I was resuscitated. I was kicked off another forum. I was very happy there and involved. I had friends, I was committed, and happy. I guess I broke a rule. I was asked to stop sending people Happy Birthday messages. I was also asked not to send personal greetings to new members. I asked if this was an order but I was told it wasn't. I sent one more birthday greeting and was banned within minutes. With no explanation and a refusal to answer any emails. I have been needing to share this since I have gotten here.
Thank you for being kind to me.
Amanda