Hello LouisZM: I'm sorry you are having this difficulty. At the risk of writing the obvious... my thought would be that this is really something you need to delve into with the help of a mental health therapist... preferably one who has experience working with clients who have sexuality-related concerns.

You asked if the memories that blast into your head will last forever or if you'll outgrow them. I doubt anyone would actually know the answer to this for certain. You may grow out of this or it may continue to trouble you. It's possible that it could subside for a period of time... (especially if the right lady comes along)... only to reappear unexpectedly at some later time in your life. Things like this are so difficult to predict. This is why I personally would feel as though the best thing to do would be to talk all of this through at length, over a period of time, with a therapist.

The thing is that the anxiety you are experiencing over these intrusive thoughts, can itself negatively affect your ability to perform sexually. It can become kind-of a spiral. You develop anxiety over the intrusive thoughts you experience. And this anxiety causes the intrusive thoughts to come back stronger & more frequently which heightens your anxiety even more, & on it goes. So, at least from my non-professional perspective, I would say the best thing to do would be to deal with this problem now. Find a therapist with whom you can work through this. Do keep in mind though that not every therapist works well with every client. So it may take a few tries to find someone you feel comfortable with. I wish you well...