It sounds like what you are describing is alienation. It's a horrible, horrible feeling or state; much more profound than loneliness.

Unfortunately, feelings of alienation can be multiplicative, where alienation causes one to isolate and distance oneself further from people and activities, which further alienates...life...and the whole thing gets compounded.

Is there a chance you could go back to the earlier therapist who you said you had feelings for? It sounds like you were developing an attachment to her.

I totally understand that feeling, and I don't think it's something you can reason your way out of. I really do think you need someone attuned with whom you can connect. You seemed more connected to your previous therapist, which is why I thought of her.