Hopingtrying, It's not that I let myself just be used, but abused. For years.

JustAFriend, I'm not sure if I was raised to be a victim. I don't know what that means. But I think...I experienced a lot of dysfunction in family, and relationships with my peers since a young age. I have always had low self esteem I think, too. I probably do have victim mentality at times, and sometimes I just can't get it out of my head!

At this point in my life, if I'm attracted to someone, I'm like, nope. Because I don't trust who I'm attracted to anymore right now. He will turn into a jerk like all the rest.

I want to change, btw. I really think I need help. It's just on my mind ATM. In kind of a dark moment.