Recently, after therapy appointments, I'll become extremely emotional and hurt. Bad feelings will well up to the point that living feels like agony and it's extremely hard to get through the day.

I think it might be because bringing up my past is sort of like reliving it, especially when it's being validated. I usually like to minimize my past as much as I can because than I can just forget about it.

Bringing up my past like this with my therapist seems to be working, since after the pain subsides I seem to have better focus.

My therapist said the emotional pains after sessions are normal, and that I can handle it and it'll help, but I don't think he understands how much pain I'm really in. I cry all night and day for days on end and think my life is only going to get worse. Maybe he doesn't understand just how bad my past was. It makes me lose all hope in life just thinking about those old feelings.

Is this normal, or should I switch therapists?

I suppose I could guide my therapist in order to not hurt my feelings as much, but I have no idea how to since therapy to me is like running around in the dark. I'm relying on my therapist to know what they're doing since I don't know what helps and what doesn't, or what hurts and what doesn't, since I tend not to feel strong emotional pain until later.

It's very hard on my marriage. I often consider divorce during these times, and think everyone, including my husband, doesn't love me.

Not to mention feeling suicidal. I don't think I'll go through with it but what if I do? Who's going to pay the price for that? My loved ones.

It just doesn't seem fair. I alone went through a terribly childhood and now I have to pay for it during therapy? What gives?

Thanks for reading. Would love some advice.