Hi @Im.Still.Breathing 2012 is a while ago!! How sad you haven't been able to properly let go of all that sadness and anger. I can definitely relate to the feeling of losing somebody. I would recommend telling friends and family - that's what we are there for in tough times and there's no shame in therapy if you think you will benefit from it.

Just reverse the situation and think if someone you cared about was feeling how you feel would you help them without judgment? They shouldn't label you as depressed and if you are depressed you should really seek therapy so it doesn't get worse. 2012 was 5 years ago Hun and I think if you are still having these feelings therapy really is the only thing that will help you get through it!! You should definitely give it go. It can be a private thing as well you don't need to tell anyone if you don't want to.

Someone very close to me lost her dad.. she visited an amazing medium (if you aren't into this stuff just ignore it I'm only trying to help) the medium told her facts about her dad she could never have guessed.. it really helped my friend get through the loss after speaking with her dad and knowing he is happy etc.

Please take care