This is so hard to do as we age, isn't it? I have days/weeks where it seems like I have let go of the past only to have the same old hopeless thoughts return. Since they want to stay with us so badly, this means that we must make them happy in some way. Or do they just not want us to take half of their stuff? Unless they are willing to let us go without waging extreme battles with us, it is so unfair that we have been driven to our current states of confusion and discontentment. Your hysteria and my attempt would not have happened if they had not beaten (not in a physical way of course) us down so much. My H is always telling me that my problem is that I want to blame him for everything, that I was damaged since the beginning of our marriage, that I never loved him but he has always loved me, that I don't consider his feelings (only mine), that I make decisions about the children without him, etc but I have been looking mostly at myself for the past year or so and I am totally confident that he did play a large role regarding my current discontentment. The closest he has come to acknowledging it was only to agree to disagree and this was only because I was threatening divorce--even then he quickly added that we need to let go of the past. So basically, in my marriage, we can talk about all the ways in which I have let him down but his issues are always off limits. Sorry to hijack your thread as usual. I am feeling moody but am tired of wondering if it is because I am bipolar, hormonal, a bad person, etc!