No one can make you change or want to change, it is all what you want to go after. I don't find it "healing" so much as learning new behaviors, new ways of being. What we don't learn in the first 20-25 years, and everyone has difficulties/areas where they did not get what they wanted or feel they need to live a successful adult life, we can still learn those things, it's just that, as adults, we have to take over the choosing and decision making as to what we want/need; no adults to decide for us, positively or not know enough themselves to be good adults, etc. and to have helped us as we were growing up and under their care.

If you decide on #1 and want to explore self-help; there's a good, reputable online book that might help: Psychological Self-Help

But I don't know how you can learn to interact with people better without working at it, learning and growing (which, if you remember your early teen years when your legs started to grow and ached constantly?) which can be painful. We can only learn from mistakes; do things right and there's no "lesson" there? But I don't think Life will let you do your option #2 very successfully; it's like dreams where you are running from monsters, etc., the only way to make the dreams stop/leave you alone is to turn and confront the monster. You have to embrace the nightmares, the bad situations and tell your heart and head you are interested in them and what they are trying to do for you, that you are "paying attention" before they will quit hitting you with 2x4's to get your attention, to get us to work with instead of against ourselves?