Quote:
Originally Posted by Erebos
Hi hope, wasn't here when the last thread was up so I just wanted to ask what was it you expected to happen when you approached your old T?
. . .
I want to know what you were needing /wanting from this man?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilentMelodee
It is my guess, unsatisfied attachment. It is truly awful when therapists' actions cause some of us to become too attached and reliant on them, then all of a sudden, when they realize what they've done, they pull back, thus causing the client damage. Perhaps retraumatization, if they were abandoned in this way in their younger years. I have seen it too often on this forum where this happens, and it scares me. Therapists make it so they carry a person's heart in their hand, then squash it when they realize they didn't follow their training on boundaries. Honestly, I think some therapists also get very attached to their clients, and when they realize it, they back off. I'm not saying that's what happened with hope, but he seemed to raise boundaries one day, leaving her hanging by a thread. This therapist damaged her, I believe, and I'm thankful she is seeing a new one who hopefully can help her relieve the pain of the last one. Hope, I just hope you keep yourself safe by pretending your ex therapist doesn't exist. Even though he no longer has you as a client, he still seems to have power over you. I think he was quite unethical. . .
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I have never heard of unsatisfied attachment before, but it seems like an important concept for any of us who have suffered with this kind of thing from a T. It could DEFINITELY be discussed upfront, if a T suspects attachment issues. And if they DON'T suspect attachment issues and it shows up later, then it could be discussed then.
Instead, the Ts say "I have my boundaries. You have to respect that. No questions asked. The problem is you. Sorry I couldn't help you. Go try somebody else."
"Unsatisfied attachment" provides a name for the gnawing impulse to reach out to someone who WAS, or seemed to be, satisfying some of the longing for attachment, sometimes at least.
It's appalling the profession doesn't recognize that and put it in the informed consent, which should probably be discussed in person if someone really wants the client to understand the risks and not just cover their a. . .s legally.