I think all those same things as you.

Especially the 'doesn't want to let go of half his stuff'. I watch the ID Channel a lot, there are plenty of murders for that very reason, scares the crap out of me. If my h hasn't done that by now, I think I'm safe...

Then, if you tell those thoughts to a psy, they diagnose you with a disorder! What's so disordered about that thinking? It is very real!

But-- since we made the choice to stay, we must look at the positives and dismiss the ugly, underlying truths, whether they be real or not.

My own mother turns on me on a dime. She didn't like me having any say about any of her bad choices, so she called me and my h unforgivable names. Ugly, twists, of facts, distorted to meet her vicious intentions.

Should anybody really be trusted, when your own parent can't?

But now I have to try to act like I am very calm and grounded.

As far as parenting decisions, I'm glad my h was so withdrawn. I made most all of the decisions without ever consulting him. He never even mentioned having any issue with that.