i hear you... at times it seems we can only be aware of everything that's broken... i know how it feels... and everyone telling me i'm wallowing in it...

but i really wasn't wallowing.. it was contemplating... isn't it natural to study something that affects you so deeply? and i didn't even care that that's how the majority of my time was spent... i've learned issues don't always resolve themselves...

ya, i felt plenty of anger to, but then, when i'd say something about the reasons i was angry, most people looked at me like i was the weak link in the chain, but that's only because they themselves were doing nothing to fix things and didn't want to, it was easier for them if i would just play the avoidance game too....

but take it in small bites... give yourself some time... it may take a lot of time... don't give up, but rest when needed.. take a walk... enjoy something, whatever (hopefully healthy) takes your mind off for awhile... enjoy some sun, or how 'bout that big cloud? it has a beauty too...

can you see it?