How is the revenge thing working out for you? That just hurts you and keeps you churned up. I'm not calling it a coping mechanism but whatever it is it isn't healthy. No you should not have hit her. I'm glad you didn't. Then you'd really be churned up. Yes, you deserve to be treated with courtesy and respect and to assertively stand up for yourself when that doesn't happen. You are not a schmuck. You just have some coping mechanisms from a tough childhood that may not be serving you well now. You are worthy and I'm glad you posted.