Weirdly enough, despite my more violent fantasies, I work with women all the time. I'm for women's rights and equality. I think it's just from my early porn addiction usage, I became so numb to things it ramped up to violence in my teens. Partly it comes from sexual frustration I have felt even before I discovered masturbation, even when I was a child I had desire for sex of some kind. I do not know if I was molested, i have no memory of such. I dunno, it has been 7 years since my last relationship, 5 since I tried sex with a friend and could not get hard. She didn't get mad but things were awkward. Again just journaling I suppose.