Hi Courtney, the things you did to your cousin don't sound that bad to me, at 18 you were still a kid and kids can be horrible. You manipulate people? We all do and people with ASPD can be really good at it. With attention seeking again most people do but if it places you or other people at risk than you should work on it with a therapist, there are personality types like Narcissists who really go overboard but again you recognise it for what it is, a true Narcissist won't care. The intrusive thoughts can be controlled but you will need help to gain the tools you need to do that. It sounds like you can still function, has it caused you to be unemployable or prevented normal day to day life? The last thing is DO NOT TRUST people who are ASPD. I can spot a girl with low self esteem a mile away and I guarantee that within 6 months I could convince her not only that I am her one true love and soulmate but also have her working in a brothel and addicted to speed, then when I'm bored of her dump her and not have one regret. Normal people are just victims lining up to be used to people with ASPD so avoid them at all costs. Be wary of Outlaw type bikeys as well and I mean the club members with a patch on their backs. They are dangerous people.