(((((Okie)))) I am sorry things are so rough right now. But you are not really alone, you have us here. I am training to be a helper myself, but I have to deal with my stuff before I attempt to really be strong to help others as a T.

I lost my brother a month ago due to complications due to child abuse he suffered. He was only 36, he was in so much pain, athough I miss him so much, he is out of his misery. It gives me strenght to move forward, because he didn't get a chance to.

I think you need to allow youself to be cared for. I am a mother, so I understand the caretaker role, but sometimes you need to take a moment for yourself. Accept help, it actually shows how strong you are for doing what you really need. Take care okie, I love your kitty!