he does.. and he said to me one day that if he had done it before then we could do it again. we have had very blunt discussions.. but i am unable to be completely clear.. my fault, not his.

i just left him a sobbing, blubbering message. i don't know when the last time was that i had such an intense meltdown. i don't think i made a lot of sense.. i did ask him to call me in the morning.. and i do remember saying that i really had no one i could call but him and that i desperately needed support.