What would being "someone special" look like to you? What qualities would you possess which you feel you currently do not? What specifically do you feel God is doing to punish you? Why do you feel God would take this time to punish you when it could be saving starving children or kids being raped? If a God is punishing you, when there are so many better, kinder things it could be doing, what does this say about said god? Has anyone ever told you, you're not special? Has anyone ever told you, you are? The abuse we receive is at the hands of living, breathing, tangible PEOPLE. Were you ever abused by a religious person or told that God is punishing you? People can be quite ugly and evil, no supernatural powers required. (((Hugs)))