Happyflowergirl
Your description sounds similar to my experience. I am currently in EMDR. I wasn't getting anywhere with talk therapy when it came to the abuse. Its working, albeit a little slowly for my liking but that's controlled by my brain. After the first few sessions we had to slow it down so that I don't become re-traumatized.

My therapist is wonderful and very good about controlling the session. She is a survivor and was treated with EMDR so she understands what I am going through. She shares her experiences with me.

On a purely technical level, it is very interesting how it works with our brain and what you go through, but on an emotion level it is the hardest think I have had to do. I tremble, I cry, I get headaches and at the end I am so tired all I want to do is sleep. But I can't that first night. I toss and turn.

I see a different therapist for EMDR. I have set up my regular therapy sessions for the following morning. This has been working out pretty well.

In terms of recovery, we have made significant headway. Just getting through the "shame" has been such a hurdle.

I wish you luck with your treatment.