Your getting ready to buy a home together, so it sounds like your relationship with him is solid. He wouldn't be doing that if he didn't feel secure with you. This should help you be more secure with him. You stated he is not abusive or angry, but does have depression. If he doesn't like being doted over, than i would respect that, and do it in a more natural manner by not going out of your way to attend to him. If you love him and want the relationship to survive, than i would suggest more communication with him about the things that bother you or him. It should help with your insecurity or OCD. Remember to never ignore your needs, and take care of yourself, for that allows you to be a better mate.

Good luck