What do you mean "inhabited by an alien"? I just feel hopeless, nothing will ever change even if I went years through therapy. Why not feel hopeless alone? I can't even tell the therapist my real feelings. I probably just don't want to change, I probably like feeling miserable like a sadist. I still have not quit my psychiatrist appointment at the end of April, I held off on that for now...but my therapist once a week I have quit. I felt turned off when she asked if I wanted to have therapy once every few weeks instead of once a week, sorta like I don't matter (which I don't) and that she was trying to get rid of me. I played it calm and said once a week though.

I'm sure I am going to go crazy again (read my 1st post on this website for a quick rundown if you wish) and that's fine, i'll know better then to actually get help this time.