Thank you T. I am still unsure, but thank you. I am thankful that you are taking the time to read my journal, and that you will continue to do so tomorrow. I am thankful that you have done as you said (as always) and replied to it, despite not finishing it. You do know that no one has ever shown me that care like this is possible.

You haven't reached the darker bits yet but I am sure that you will understand, and react just as you always do.

I have been OK mainly, though I am not sure I would say 'on top of things'. That makes it sound like things have been good all of the time, which I think may be going a bit far.

Just be gentle with me, please. Don't expect too much and don't react like you did last time I showed you the angry/grumpy teenager. I think you were in over your head when that happened. You didn't know what to do, just like happened for real when I was a teenager. The only thing that you can do is to be there, to offer to come closer both physically and emotionally. Don't think that I am 'punishing' you, though I may well be. Don't think that you can't help, because you can. Don't push me away, pull me closer. This side of me needs a different experience too, you know. This side of me needs to know that it is OK now, that there is someone that can help. Maybe this would help me to get in touch with my feelings. This part of me felt a lot when I was there with you, but it got put away, it got sent away.

I am not saying that it will be there, but it might be, and o would like you yo know what to do. I know we have talked about it but I think you might have forgotten. Actually, I think you might have forgotten a lot of things, but I know, because of your text today, that you didn't forget about me, and that felt good.