gerber, I think sunrise is on to something. I know exactly what you are saying. I had a similar situation and still to a degree feel that way. Sunrise suggested a "code". Explain to him again the 2 parts and that sometimes you need the emotional him. Give him an idea of what that is in your mind. For example: a softer voice etc. Ask him if it would help to have a word you could use occasionally when you needed this from him. That way, he understands what you're looking for and you don't have to tell him each time. I can't imagine a good therapist ignoring this request or idea. It's definately worth a try. He sounds wonderful and worth working towards building a strong therapy relationship. There is defiantely a reason why people say that therapy is "work". It is and the payoff sometimes takes alot longer than we expect . At least that has been my experience.