Went to my appointment and fessed up to the paranoia. Doc wasn't offended or even particularly surprised, quizzed me a bit and got out the abilify training wheels. Itty bitty thing but its still really good at making me nauseous. (regular startup effect I'm supposing.)

In some ways, I can't believe that it was that easy. I've put up with this BS in my head for a very long time. Honestly believed only catastrophic chains of events would allow this hope to happen, but all it required was the conversation.

Though.. .whats up with the retail price? Some pharmacies are $900+ and others are $60 or so for the same generic. "with coupon". My insurance covers it fine so not really a personal impact, but the retail price on these things is just weird.

I do realize its to early for that thing to have much effect, but just the act of "crossing the Rubicon" has really boosted my motivation.