Thanks, that was interesting. Yes, alienation fits into how I feel and see others and how I look upon life. Sometimes I feel a connection but often I just donīt feel I belong. I feel different from a T for example and to avoid the feeling of a friend ignoring me or waiting for a friend to contact me, I rather end the relationship or just let it fizzle out.
Similar can happen with a relationship with a T, if she does something that makes me feel inferior, even if that wasnīt her intention I begin to count her out, to loose the connection with her. It can be something like her passing by in a fancy car or I realize she has been abroad, then the barrier get high immediately and I just feel inferior. I start to share less and I start to trust her less.
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Originally Posted by Skies
It sounds like what you are describing is alienation. It's a horrible, horrible feeling or state; much more profound than loneliness.
Unfortunately, feelings of alienation can be multiplicative, where alienation causes one to isolate and distance oneself further from people and activities, which further alienates...life...and the whole thing gets compounded.
Is there a chance you could go back to the earlier therapist who you said you had feelings for? It sounds like you were developing an attachment to her.
I totally understand that feeling, and I don't think it's something you can reason your way out of. I really do think you need someone attuned with whom you can connect. You seemed more connected to your previous therapist, which is why I thought of her.
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