T told me basically what you guys suggested, that I don't have to stop seeing her, but if I want to try, we could do every two weeks. Thinking of doing that made me freeze. T said this is my idea; I don't have to do it. She agrees that $100 a week is a lot of money. Just bringing up the possibility of cutting down sessions is progress, she said.

I am now the age my Mom was when she died. When I told T that I've felt depressed, she said that's definitely a reason why. It's common to feel like I could die now too. But I don't have to think that way.

T said that often I talk without letting her get a word in, and she lets me continue because I seem to want to simply talk. We've discussed that before. I'm​ not aware of doing that, not totally, anyway. A friend today told me she tried several times to say something but I wouldn't let her. So that's something to work on too.

T gave me homework. She really believes it will help me to spend 20 minutes every morning practicing mindfulness, just observing my breath. She says she's been doing it twice a day for a couple of years and it's changed her life. I want to ask what she had to change, as she's very calm, but maybe that's only at work. I have trouble with schedules, but I did it two days so far.

When I talked about wishing I were just starting therapy with her when I felt the intensity, and that I missed the excitement, she told me the way I am now is healthier. I was in that fantasy world about her, she said. Now she's just ordinary to me.

It was a good, productive session.