haven't had this about a parental figure, but a brother. some of the others have wanted a brother because they feel he would protect them unlike our sisters and the several parents we had who didn't. we never had a brother so don't know if one would be safe or not.

one of the younger ones wanted one of my online male friends as a brother, but it wasn't really something he was comfortable with or could understand and kind of got freaked out about even talking to her the one time she wanted to.

my therapist said that i have to parent them, but it's hard when they don't see me as a parental figure as it's not my role. yes, i can provide them with certain things and do my best, but there are things i just cannot provide (and they don't 'want' it from me). we don't have that kind of connection, and i don't think any of the older ones can provide that either as they seem to want an external person to fill that role.

it is also hard because if they don't have their needs met, i don't know how they can heal. and it also is really sad to me/them because it all gets so confusing sometimes and not knowing how to get needs met.