Something has changed in my relationship with my therapist but I can't pinpoint it. We've discussed EMDR recently but I'm still balking at the idea of it even though I'm pretty sure it would actually be really helpful. It's just that the thought of it makes me feel uncomfortably vulnerable even though he said I can choose how much I actually want to discuss and process out loud, if even at all, during the EMDR session.

He mentioned trust and it threw me off. I should have a good sense of trust with him (going on 4 years of therapy with the poor man)...and I have trusted him. It was just that in that moment I realized I *didn't* trust him--not with this anyway. He knows about the event I want to reprocess. It's not new news. That's why I don't understand. I told him I was afraid of being visibly upset during EMDR because there are obviously strong emotions connected with it. I've never cried or had a panic attack or anything in a session. It just hit me that I don't know if I can trust him with such an "event" if it ever did happen. And it's probs allllll because he's a man and my dad's age. I don't exactly know why this is currently my limit of trust though.

Anyone ever experience transference like this because your therapist is the same sex as an a-hole parent? What were things (besides talking about it) that helped you move past it? Or maybe talking about it is the only thing to help.