I felt that way....it was like there were so many serious things going on in my life. Bad marriage I didnt really grasp what thebreal problem was & none of my T's over the years helped me understand what was going on, then when my mom wasdying of cancer, I caught the home care person abusing her but everyone kept saying people dont do things like that..but she sure was abusing my mom. Didnt get her out of the picture until after she OD'ed my mom on her morphine. It was like it was me against the world. Even my pdoc didnt believewhat was going on & all I got from my H wasthis really stupid look. Thank heavens the police verified though there wasnt enough evidence to prosecute.

It felt like I had to fight for any help I needed & then I didnt get help anyway even fighting for it.

It wasnt until I finally left my H after 33 years invthat bad marriage & moved 2100 miles away to where I didnt know anyone...but found people who offered help without my even asking. No fighting needed. I found the absolute best psychologists who helped me more than all the previous 13 years of useless therapy. I was shocked that thete were real caring people in this world. I have for the first time in my life REAL friends who are there for me & Im there for them....being in a dysfunctional marriage with a totally dysfunctional H, no one wanted to even get involved in help of friendship. On my own I learned the problem wasnt ALL me.

There really is hope ti find help in this world but sometimes we have to make huge changes in iur own lives to get to a place where we can find it....& we have to be open to the help too. Many times now I find it is too difficultto even accept the help....though othersits much easier. When I fractured my back in a bail off a horse, a friend came & mowed my field & yard for me. Last weekwnd my dog locked me out of my truck at the dump where I was unloading brush from clearing out areas of my farm. The man whowas unloading his brush along with his family spent 30 minutes of their time to help me get my truck unlocked....my keys phone & everything was locked inside the truck. I have never experienced such a wonderful feeling than the unconditional caring I continually experience here & Im so thankful for the wonderful T & friends that I have who has taught me so much how to be much more normal after living around nothing but dysfunction for 54 years of my life. Thete was no better help in my life than to be shown what real emotional connection & REAL communication is like.