I appreciate your time and your efforts but I feel you don't understand (sorry, but it's true) you don't know my kids or what I model and I admit I find the implication a little unfair. But perhaps you are right and I've destroyed my children already and it isn't life that will eat them up, it's me who already did. It's not my fault but it is my problem eh? It would seem in this scenario presented it's my fault and my problem and not a thing I can do about it. Not many solutions to my situation. I can't cure any of this. Not my son's health, mind, abilities to function like normal adults. I can't stop crying and wanting to die. Some sick psych professional once asked me (when I was in the hospital, after an attempt) don't you love your kids? I feel your modeling comment was as harmful as her comment was back then. I really need to talk to someone who actually really gets it. Someone who is in my position or at least one that I can relate to. So I can be honest about how deep this goes, so I can hear them agree and understand and really get it. To not be alone in all this. To be understood instead of judged.

I know you tried your best and didn't mean to hurt me. It's not your fault, I guess it's mine.