This is dreadful and I had no idea it could be like this. Here in Britain it seems that we get an incredible amount of help in comparison and it makes me feel angry for you.
Something has to happen. You cannot go on like this and should you ?

What therapy have you had ? I had years of counselling and learned CBT / Cognitive Behavioural Therapy but have had no solution. I am about to start DBT / Dialectical Behavioural Therapy - have you heard about that and is there any chance it would help you ?