You are not responsible for how I feel. You know this and I know this. I know you are trying to help and I really wish you could. I'm sorry about your situation with your husband. I don't relate to much of what you said but I understand pain and I'm sorry you are suffering.

My family might be set for life financially...my doctors screwed me mentally and physically and broke me in more ways than anyone seems to realize or care....I just can't believe how little they care about it. It might not cure their ailments, but they will be provided more security than I have ever been and that's something....it's something good that will come from me in a way. Too much is Wong, the doctors have hurt me and they don't care at all. Now I may need a surgery and can't trust them enough to do it and I might end up looking like a man and nobody understands or cares at all. They think I should be grateful for all this abuse and torture. I don't understand and I no longer even want to try to see other people's sides. They can have there side and choke on it.