Dear T,

My mood is all f_cked up again. I wish you were here

I started Ritalin on Thursday and it did not make me manic, which is good news, I guess.

Maybe I'm just experiencing withdrawal from Ritalin. I don't f_cking know and I'm at the point where I don't even f_cking care. I just feel like complete sh_t.

Why did I f_cking schedule an appointment on Wednesday when our normal ones are on Tuesday? Now I have to wait an EXTRA day. f_ck me. Why am I such a failure at life?

Also, I'm a f_cking moron. I set up our Wednesday appt for 7:45am. What the F_CK was I thinking? I always go to bed at 10pm and wake up at 8am due to Seroquel. Jesus christ. I'm f_cking losing it. I don't know if I want to keep it or reschedule it.