It could be a bit of both. Maybe you need to get your life into a certain order before you can make that move, to give any relationship a chance to flourish. But 'change' might be small at first, baby steps rather than a big jump, and just a bit better might be a good goal to aim for.

You seem overwhelmed with the situation at the moment (which is understandable) so breaking 'change' into small steps seems wise.