It still matters what T thinks - he is important to you. It is important (more? hard to say for us) what you think. Don't beat yourself up for wanting him to be proud of you. Instead see what you have allowed to happen, the connection you have allowed to be created between him and yourself. From what I have read, you don't let too many people be close to you. You have let him be close to you and that comes with a whirlwind of emotions. One of them is the desire to have him be proud of you. Nothing wrong with that at all, in my book.