Yes he was rude, but honestly, so were you.

It is rather presumptuous of you to ask for a refund and to call them "deceptive" for staging their production in a manner than they see fit. It is not unusual or deceptive for certain choral productions to be staged with the choir in the balcony and soloists up front; in fact, that may be the very way the original composer envisioned his/her work when it was written, particularly in venues such as churches/cathedrals. I've sung choral parts literally from off stage because that is what the music called for. When you buy tickets to a concert, they are yours. If you decide not to go, you can give them to someone else, sell them to someone else, etc., but you don't get refunds. That's not how it works.

Secondly, I do not find someone with a doctorate in their profession self-aggrandizing if they wish to use the title they earned through years of education and work. Getting a doctorate in music is no small feat, and most doctorate level musicians I know off (and I know many) do use their title.