Thanks a bunch!

I'm home pretty often but I do leave for school and am away for many hours. I also like to go out by myself once and a while, and occasionally my husband and I go somewhere.

I do think I rely on him too much, but I'm learning and have been slowly becoming less dependent again. I have difficulties making friends, so that hasn't helped.

I'm glad to hear some validation on my feelings with him and people online. I feel like it hurts my feelings to some extent.

Thanks for the support. I do know that I've lived alone for a long time and learned how to be happy with myself, so I'm sure I can find that again.

I of course don't want to become completely independent and not need my husband, but I think some more independence would be great.

I agree that he does seem to love me a lot... I think he shows it through physical affection as well, and now that I think about it, he has been planning more time to spend with me lately. I can easily see him just not being able to talk out feelings as well as me, and if that's all it is, than it's nice to know so I feel confidant that he loves me.

Actually, I think the biggest factor in finding independence is knowing he loves me. I think when I feel he doesn't, I get very worried that my feelings are going to be negatively affected by him, or this whole marriage will go downhill, so I get needy of validation until I know he loves me again and can go off and do my own thing in the confidence that he loves me.

I think my biggest problem is trusting he loves and cares about me. I notice our marriage runs smoothly when I feel that way, and I'm more independent.

Even if he can't support me correctly when I'm feeling really down, just knowing he cares and the extent of his care usually is all I want from him and feel much better. When I don't think he cares, I get upset with him.

So, I feel I need to continue learning to trust him.

Oh, and I should mention that I do think I am important to him, but I think bad feelings fueled my comment on not being important to him. Oh, and the idea of marriage, too. I think marriage is a strong bond of trust and love, and the knowledge that you'll always have their back. I don't think a marriage should be like roommates... Not at all.