It's been two weeks now. I'm doing pretty good. I've been staying home a lot, and not hanging out with friends that drink. I think in the long run that will be the hardest thing to avoid. I can avoid it around my family, I've done that. I can react more positively to emotional triggers, that's something I haven't done as much... usually if I can't have one thing I'll find something else. But I think I can do it. But it's really hard for me to go to a party with friends, especially the people I used to drink with for days on end, and not have alcohol. I discovered that one coping strategy is to always have a drink of juice in my hand. Always have a full glass of juice. That way, I'm not tempted to put anything else in it. If the temptation gets to strong, I guess I'll just have to leave. I know I'd just get frustrated and cry if I left, because it's happened before. But at least I won't drink that day. It's not just the craving for alcohol though, it's social anxiety, too. When I drink, I play better pool, I tell funnier stories, I am more entertaining and have more fun, becuase I can relax. When I'm in a crowd of people I don't know, my hand will shake so bad I can barely get a drink to my mouth without spilling it. I'll stumble over my own feet and knock things over. I used to be absolutely unable to eat in front of people I didn't know, I'd literally choke on the food from nervousness. I get stomach upset because of nervousness. I used to have severe social anxiety, but I overcame that over a number of years mostly through reprogramming my self through visualization, and focusing on positive social experiences. I guess it never really goes away, I can just keep it under control most of the time. I have a lot more confidnce. But it's still hard to go to parties without the buffer of alcohol.
So I use alcohol for a number of reasons. Not drinking any more will mean major changes. But I know it's for the best in the end. In the last week, I have also quit smoking, and I ran out of sleeping pills so I figured this is as good a time as any to quit taking them, too. I wish I could take a week off right now!