I see myself as mentally ill. I have had anxiety impairing my life for as long as I can remember down to my earliest memories. My parents never sought help for my siblings too, and resisted concerned relatives who worried a sibling had autism.

As teenagers, when myself and a sibling was suicidal, we were refused help.

I always thought I was just flawed. Getting the psychiatric diagnoses helped me realize I am ill. A very long illness, yes.

In my country, stigma is high. They still see psych hospital as the loony bin and that we're unable to function. Despite being a collectivist Asian country, unlike physical disabilities or persons with special needs, persons with mental health struggles are shamed and dismissed and mocked. We're trying to gain acceptance by likening mental illness to physical illness because two thirds meeting diagnostic criteria don't seek help and those who do spend at least a decade struggling before seeking help.

I'm so called "high functioning" because I work a regular full time job without any formal accommodations which defies the stereotype in my country though I believe there's many like me. This does not mean that I am stronger or better than others, just that I "pass" in this ableist society.

I cling onto identifying myself as mentally ill because it's a way I fight self stigma and societal stigma for myself. Because it reminds me I am unwell, not I am bad. That I can heal and recover and cope better.