Ahh. That's a conflict too-inwardly broken outwardly smiling, pretending. It's like in business, when an organization's operations/behaviors/policies don't match it's vision, mission, and values. It results in lack of credibility. Translating credibility in the context of business to a context with a person = you don't believe in yourself? And if you don't believe in yourself, why should Kashi? Now HE must be the fake one...

I was just talking about this to my sister today. Having these issues makes me feel alienated as someone with a horrible childhood (the cause) rather than the effect. And how I feel, what I do, etc.; my limitations, how much i can/can't enjoy life, how much i missed out on, all the wrong decisions made--but that is a ton of Grief. But i don't think of it as MI. I do know the majority of people I work with don't have MI. Writing this out-it sounds rather contradictory. To mitigate that, one thing to remember is the personality aspect of it-i think more than half of people have dsyfunction there; yet, those would never be labeled with a MI. So would a ton of people who abused others. They don't get treatment so they don't get a diagnsosis. So-do those groups without a diagnosis not have a mental illness but you and I do? See how that doesn't work. That's why I think of myself as a childhood trauma survivor rather than mental illness, regardless of the diagnosis.

I'm posting on Ambien so I hope that makes sense. Not sure why it makes me awake now instead of letting me sleep.