My attempt was a once in a lifetime event for me. It is not going to happen again. But the mental anguish I felt yesterday (and except for what I posted at PC--I just kept it to myself)--those feelings have always visited me periodically for my entire life. I just have to ride them out and then they usually end and I feel OK again. It seems like there are others at PC who share this trait. You cannot stop the feelings, only wait for them to subside.....