That sounds like it is really awful I have similar experiences, though probably not as bad as yours is. I would suggest talking to your psychologist. Maybe you could face away from them to tell them so you're not worrying about them analysing every facial movement? Or write it down so they read it and focus on the information and not you? It sounds like you need help to deal with the anxiety and anger this is causing you, so hopefully they will have some suggestions.

*Willow*