Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahSweden
Thanks. What an interesting viewpoint. I havenīt thought of it that way even if Iīve realized for long that I reach for quite high standards when it comes to friendship. I have a hard time just "hanging around" and the hard thing of accepting differences, flaws and a less strong connection is that such a situation makes me feel even more lonely.
I canīt just hang out with random people, I donīt get anything from it and at the same time finding people when Iīm more close to feels often impossible.
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Yeah. Hanging out is an acquired skill for some people. I used to absolutely marvel at the way others could do it with so much ease. OMG. For me it's been like learning a new language. I can make myself understood if I take the risk of looking foolish and though I will never be like a native speaker, I can actually become surprisingly proficient. YMMV but one or two glasses of wine and some kind of common ground (workplace, hobby, mutually liked food/book/movie) can be extremely helpful in both situations.
Hanging out doesn't take away from my need to have deeper friendships. I have fewer of those than I'd like to and my closest friends don't live nearby and are busy and not as available as I wish they were. But it does mitigate my sense of isolation and has challenged my idea that I'm not likeable or relatable.