Tomorrow at 10 est I have what I hope to be the last and final appointment ever with my current T.

Here's a quick summary of my situation: I've been seeing this T for the past 2.5 years. She's a blank slate type of T and not knowing anything about her was maddening to me so I took the liberty of looking her up online with google searches and through social media. I found out a lot of stuff and then felt so guilty and decided to tell her more than a year ago. She was in her words, "A little miffed" and she said that she is a very private person and she cares very much about the privacy of her family. Even though all of this stuff was online and readily available she didn't see it that way. I ended up apologizing but was really more sorry that I had told her than anything else.

So over the past year I continue to see her and things are always strained and eventually I find a new T and part ways with this T, but it turns out that I can’t continue to see my p-doc if I don’t have a T at this center. In my final session, my T and I seemed to really come to a better understanding so I decide to go back to her. She promises to answer my questions going forward as long as I tell her why I need to know. A few weeks ago I decide to ask T a couple of benign questions and she refuses to answer them!!

I'm so confused and so upset that she went back on her promise and realize that I must find a new T but decide against the T that I had seen a couple of times because she was really into mindfulness and meditation which I didn't like. So I end up having a session with yet a new T and it went pretty well but all that we did was intake stuff. Friday I had my 2nd session with this new T and I didn't like how whenever I'd pause for her input she didn't have a whole lot to say or any big insights etc... I realize that she doesn't even know me yet and that maybe it would get better as she knows more about me.

So over the past few days I start thinking/fantasizing that me and current T, (not potential new T) are going to somehow make-up tomorrow and live happily ever after because there are so many things that I do like about current T and don't want to have to end things once and for all!

Last night I went to dinner with a very good friend and was updating her on all of this and for the first time ever my friend was very forward and was really pressuring me to give new T a chance and that I should end things tomorrow with current T. She pointed out how this has been going on for a long time and that despite numerous conversations with current T that she won't budge on anything and that it's absolutely time to move on! Also, that even if this potential new T doesn't work out that it would be MUCH better to have no T temporarily than to ever see current T again.

So that brings me here. I know that my friend is 110% right that I have tried and tried for months to get T to compromise on a few things and that she is never going to change! She also pointed out that my T even said that she'd understand if I found someone new is pretty much telling me without terminating me that she is NOT going to change and that it's best if I look elsewhere.

I know that I need to end things with T and just need a little support and encouragement for tomorrow's last session For those of us who get all wrapped up with our T's it's really hard! Thanks!