We talk about this a lot so i'd like to share. Obviously-but stating for conversation-just because someone is a therapist, this does not mean their boundaries are healthy.
personally, I don't see these as behaviors as much as I see them as being related to sense of self. That is one of the things I look for in a therapist as healthy boundaries are a result of a healthy sense of self. And for me, depth therapy, seeing how i relate to others, put my own boundaries under a microscope; it was easy to see things that were causing problems for myself, even if it was the other person 'doing' something and I needed to stop engaging.
Quote:
Healthy boundaries are NOT:
- Set for us by others
- Hurtful or harmful
- Controlling or manipulative
- Invasive or dominating
- Rigid and immovable
Healthy boundaries ARE:
- present
- appropriate
- clear
- firm
- protective
- flexible
- receptive
- determined by US
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Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self by Charles L. Whitfield ? Reviews, Discussion, Bookclubs, Lists
(I never read this book so i have no opinion on it-I just like the short, concise summary quoted above.)