((((((Carrie)))))))

Treasure your husband. No, it wouldn't be better to be angry at him just to avoid the worrying and missing. Believe me, I have recently learned how rare and wonderful it is to find someone you can love and how much it hurts to lose him. My friend Jon that died- I've talked about him on here a bit- I had feelings for him that I never dealt with and never shared. The closest I ever came was writing a love poem to him (about missing him, ironically) that he will never see now.

The only thing that carries me through is the good feelings I have had toward him. Knowing that I missed him when he was gone. Knowing that I wanted him around me. Knowing how nice it was to be around him, that's what gets me through when I'm missing him now. If I had always been angry at him and never allowed myself to experience and think about my love for him,and my desire to have him around all the time, then the ache of losing him would run MUCH deeper. The only regret I will ever have is not being open ENOUGH to love.

And that is the truth from the bottom of my heart. I hope it helps you.

*hugs*
Angela