Hi LuLu,

Your situation reminds me of a bad situation that I was in. I worked at a residential treatment center for a little over a year. It was my first job after staying home for several years, and I had just finally finished my B.A. in Psychology (which I had done all of the requirements 13 years previously, but didn't graduate because I thought it wouldn't help me at the bachelor's level and didn't think I had a chance in this field anyway - long story and, to shorten it, I'm in this community for a reason).

So, I thought that my $6/hour job where it was clear they didn't pay me to think was the best I could do, at least at first. Over the months, I started to think that I should be seeing some promotions, which were all being offered to young college students who had not worked there as long as I had. The director was 10 years younger than I was and had a bachelor's degree in psychology. I was seeing more and more things in how they did things there that bothered me. The girls in the program walked on eggshells constantly because the program was so punitive, and they never knew when they would be 'consequenced' for something, even if they did nothing wrong.

I started asking why I was not being considered for open positions. I cared a lot about those girls, and wanted to stay and try to help them, and was tired of feeling helpless, and also being overworked and underpaid. I was strung along for a long time, being told that I was being considered for the positions I wanted and the people who got them were more suitable for one reason or another. I enrolled in a master's program in mental health counseling, and the program owner was asking me about doing therapy for them as a student intern (way earlier than the program would have allowed for it), and hinted about wanting me as assistant director. But they gave the AD job to a 20-year-old girl who was studying some other field, because she had become the director's best friend.

I asked again, about not being promoted, and the director told me that, being in my 30s, I was too old for the girls to relate to, and I should really find another job. That night I totaled my van as I was trying to drive home - I was dissociating and didn't see a stop sign.

Soon after that, I discovered that I had a voice and could use it, and said something about the AD interrupting a group that I was running to tell the girls to get ready for a birthday party, and then yelling at the girls and consequencing every one of them for doing it too loudly. Because I said it was wrong, I was kept after work and lectured about insubordination until past midnight. I did tell the girls that I watched when they went to their unit to go to bed that I wasn't sure I would be allowed back, and to remember that I did care about them, although the director would probably tell them that I didn't (her usual line about past staff).

I rode my bycycle home in the dark, about 5 miles, and couldn't even get out of bed the next day. I tried to call the director all day to say I couldn't work, and she never answered her cell phone or checked messages. The AD called to ask why I didn't show up for my shift, and then asked if she should take me off the schedule and I said I guess.

I had another job the next day, part time, but more per hour. I was mostly upset about the girls, and that they might think I abandoned them. I had been there a little more th an a year, and had seen almost complete staff turnover. The director was the only one of the staff who regularly worked with the girls who was still there out of everyone who was there when I started.

I guess I just wanted to say that I understand about underqualified supervisors feeling threatened when they realize that you are more qualified. It is too bad that the clients get hurt, but you will find another job and will be better off than you were there. It's tempting to spread the word about who you were working for, but that might hurt the clients more.

Keep moving forward! Do get therapy for yourself if needed, so that you can deal with what has happened and be able to be there for your clients. I was already in therapy, and my T was pleased that I was out of that environment. Maybe it's best for you to be out of there too. Power struggles between staff or therapists are not going to have a good effect on anyone, including yourself or the people you serve.

TC,
Rap