Thanks, guys. No one referred me. They didn't like pills, so I guess that made them reluctant to help me get antidepressants. I have some info of my previous therapists to my new one, but I don't think she got a hold of any of them. So it looks like she just has what I have to say. Which I do understand why she wouldn't want to push antidepressants the first visit. I totally get that. She said that she never pushes those onto anyone, but if anyone ever wants them, she'll refer them to one of the psychiatrists there to get some. Like I said, everyone who goes there eventually needs a psych evaluation anyway. My next appointment is on Wednesday, so it's not too long of a wait now. But I'm not sure how long it'll be til I get a psych evaluation or anything like that. Honestly, if therapy helped, I wouldn't want pills. I didn't used to. But doing therapy for years and still not getting better, in fact getting worse, I would like some now. I can't focus on getting better, while I'm this depressed. I'm actually surprised that I've managed to ask for help so many times and push myself to find a better therapist and better help. Because sometimes, I have to force myself to get out of bed in the morning. I guess I'm just sick of feeling like this, so it's pushing me to ask more for help.

I would love to get blood work and stuff done, to rule out anything else. Though I don't think that it's any physical health problems causing my depression, unless it's something minor. I've suffered from it most of my life off and on, since I was little. I think it started after my mom died when I was six. That probably has something to do with it, but by now, I don't think that's the only reason for my depression either. But either way, I would like blood work and stuff done on me, just to prove that I'm healthy or not. If only I could actually find a doctor, instead of them just screwing me around.

And I've tried CBT. But it's hard to focus on doing things to get better when I feel like such crap. That's the reason I want antidepressants. I've heard that meds and therapy are a great combo, and that meds make it easier to focus on therapy and getting better. You're lucky you live somewhere that takes mental illness seriously. My state in the US is fairly conservative, and as I said, most people don't take it seriously at all.